Y Thursday, January 4, 2007 Y
is fair
"the only way to let go,
is for me to meet a new one.
and then, thats when i really walk away.
you let go first din you? or is it otherwise?"
projects are literally killing me. just kill me puh-lease. i don't love projects. who love projects anyway? new year; projects piling up. its suffocating me. never mind about those crazy nights. i know i'll have more n more nights in there for me. i made a small promise to myself. promises are meant to be kept; meant to be broken. still, people make empty promises.
i am stating thrash above. i don't know what the fuck got into me. just a bit more, and i'll be done with it. still, i don't wanna do it. why does god make men like this? sometimes, i really wish i never exist. if mom really got brainwashed by the government 18 years ago. i guess i'll not be here. the idea of wanting a boy got into dad, thats why he insist on wanting to let me out and see the world. if not, i'll very well be dead 18 years ago. how great.
imissmybrother. though he never really see the world. but still, he was meant to be my brother. i wonder if my mom misses him.
god is really fair. really, i mean it. he is fair. just go observe those people around you. you will really believe that god is fair. people don't own you a living. you had to work hard all by urself. want a big apartment? go work and save. envy people who are born rich? you think that money is just everything? think again. despise people who are poor? you never know how satisfied they are with their life. want a girl but couldn't get her? you think that there is only a girl living in this world? i just don't understand why one's life just evolve around another person. c'mon, you got your own life. you don't live for others! she doesn't love you, okay. get over with it and find other girl.
i may not seem to be a possesive person. but i know every girl has this possesive thingy inside her. and i just got to know mine. i realise that im possesive too. and i really don't like it. its bad for a relationship you know. i do get jealous. yes, i do. but i always have this belief that a couple shouldn't see each other 24/7. cause i'll be bored seeing the same guy for 24/7. i have my friends. i need my friends as much as i need him. but then again, when we din get in touch for quite some time. i still wonder what you are doing, who are you with, are you happy? i have to confess. im jealous when i saw what she wrote to you. guess all i need now is assurance. assure me that you still love me.
lets skype. (: